my mother was a cakemaker.  she, probably entirely unintentionally (adverbs are cool), passed that glorious talent and trade on to me, her daughter who once was very much overweight due in part to the fact that i spent a good 40% of my childhood eating tupperware cups full of leftover icing with a spoon.

cakemaking.

tonight i have been cakemaking.  i said yes about a week ago to making a cake for a baby shower because a) i love to bake, b) i love bake for other people, and c) i love to bake for other people most especially when those other people are good friends of mine in need of sugary deliciousness for a public affair.

little did i know that a baby shower cake was going to require so much attention…

1) shower cakes in general have this unwritten code of preparation and presentation.  i know this code because my mom was a cakemaker.  i would love to have never known this code.  my last week and a half would have been much less stressful–”stressful?” you say?  yes.  stressful.  joyfully stressful, but stressful nonetheless.

2) part of that unwritten code is about to be written, so brace yourselves:

x. shower cakes must be sheet cakes of at least 9×13 inches
x. shower cakes must be pre-cut for the party in perfect squares of generally 2×2 inches
x. shower cakes must be iced before being pre-cut, and then iced again.  and then decorated over the cuts so the cuts are not visible.
x. shower cakes must be cut with dental floss (affords a clean and quick cut with no crumbs)
x. shower cakes must have something cute on every single square (a little rattle or bottle or baby in the case of a baby shower, a dove or a flower or a ring for weddings, or just little candies for any occasion if you have no other options)
x. shower cakes are a pain in the butt

i am waiting for my crumb-coat to dry.  “what is a crumb-coat?” you may ask.  well, a crumb-coat is the first icing; it is in essence like a coat of primer–it doesn’t look that awesome but it does a great many things (covers everything, makes for a fresh “canvas”, holds down the things that stick to whatever is getting coated–in this case, crumbs–so that you don’t have nasty chunks ruining your paint job).

i have crumb-coated.  mission accomplished.  i have something like 3 hours to go on this cakemaking escapade.  i am going bed in two.  hurry up, crumb-coat.  me sleepy…

i had to make two cakes, by the way.  stinkin’.  one 9×13 cake will only serve 24 people.  there may be more or less than that tomorrow, and there are always people who take more than they should from the refreshment table, so two cakes it is.  two sheet cakes.  get excited.

i don’t know why i posted this entry, really.  i just needed to tell someone about the cakes.

that person was you.

lucky you. : )

http://darinandkacie.wordpress.com

woohoo!

we’re getting married!

and Jesus likes it!

because he loves us!

and he loves love!

woohoo!

x. i had a ridiculous schedule, completely undue to boundarylessness.  we have gone 24/7 with our second prayer room and i have been commissioned as a prophetic singer there (thank God; it was soooo about time).  as the schedule at this second prayer room (called the JPR or justice prayer room for those who will later wonder what those letters mean) continues to morph and bend with the inner workings of men, my own schedule has become something of a monster.  as of today, i have worked it out.  God help me, i’m going to live and breathe and pray again.  and shower more than once a week.  hallelujah.

x. i’m getting married.  every moment of my spare time for the last few weeks (i say “spare time” like it actually existed; i literally had two hours each week that wasn’t expressly committed to something, and most of that time was truly spent either eating or trying not to suffocate) was spent figuring out how to get married with only $3000 in the bank and 3 months to get it all together.  i’m not actually stressed about the wedding, which might be mildly insane, but things have been falling into place so pleasantly that i haven’t had to stress.  bless the Lord.

x. the few times i have actually been motivated to cook something has wound up only serving me practically–meals for darin and myself in-between commitments on the base and for the prayer movement in general.  i enjoy cooking, yes.  but i really love to bake.  sugary things make my heart happy.  not just because i get to eat them, but moreover because i get marvel every single time at how such a random mixture of ingredients creates such an asthetically pleasing and delectable treat.  i mean, busted open things that pop out of a chicken butt get mixed with powders and fats and it comes out finger-lickin’ good.  glory to God.

x. i’m just tired.  sleep is hard when you’re busy.  you just can’t afford it, or at least that’s how it seems.  i miss eight-hours-of-sleep nights; bigger than that, i miss warm sunny days.  winter is really hard on a nightwatchman; we are so prone to depression simply because our exposure to the sun is magnificently decreased.  when i’m weary and in need of the sun, i just never feel like doing anything that requires extra energy–i’ve got to save that stuff up!  baking almost always walks right out the door of opportunity and doesn’t find the door again to knock on it until winter has passed and the spring has come…  oh, Lord, i need some sunlight in my life.

so, there you have it.  now that i have begun to work out my schedule and set things in order that will prevent me from burning out utterly, i feel so much lighter and freer to enjoy the things that truly please my soul again, baking being on that grand list.

i have 88 days until i am a wife.  funsies.

i need to go to bed.  pray for me that i will get good sleep.  i need massive amounts of rest.  period.

peace.

oh, if only…

funsies.

i’m engaged.

on february 13th, darin robert damme took me out to the west jetty on longview lake–which happens to be the very first place we ever spent time together as friends two years ago and a place we have not been back to since that day–and in the freezing coldness of the missouri morning, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

and i said yes.

then he asked for my hand because i had it in my pocket due to the freezing coldness and after i produced it, he slipped the most beautiful, practical, and perfect-for-me ring i’ve ever seen onto my ring finger and we watched the sun rise over the edge of the lake and horizon of town until it got too cold to stay any longer.

i’m going to be a wife in 95 days.

may 31st, my friends.  may 31st.  bless the Lord… 

and Godspeed the day.

i love him.  yes, yes i do.

that is all.

alright.  if you have any sort of relationship with me beyond that of “hey–how’s it going?”, you know well that i’m from north carolina and i hail from a really productive region–we have our own brands of what you non-southerners like to call “pop” (eyuh… i shudder at the word), our agricultural contributions are astounding (an absurd amount of tobacco is produced and packaged somewhere in the piedmont or “central region” of my state), and the world’s best bbq hails from my hometown (yeah.  take that, kansas city.  you don’t even know.).  oh, and we are completely responsible for all things dale earnhardt and krispy kreme (glory).

in addition to these things is something that i hold ever so dear to my heart.  if you’ve ever heard me talk about being home and the things i love, you’ve heard me talk about livermush.

that’s right.  LIVERMUSH.  l-i-v-e-r-m-u-s-h.  livermush.

sounds gross, but i’m telling you, it’s the most delicious and heavenly thing you’ll ever put in your mouth.  frugality meets nutrition meets holy-poopsmith-this-stuff-is-awesome-tasty.  i love it.

and it is nothing like spam.  so stop it.  stop it right now.

fun fact:  livermush got people through the depression.

another fun fact: my family, well, the extended step-family, is one of NC’s top livermush producers, and is by far, personally speaking, the best of the best (it’s actually the stuff frying in the “holy-poopsmith” article).  i grew up on neese’s, which is really “liver pudding”–also a gross name–so it has ricemeal in it instead of cornmeal and is thusly darker and tougher (plus, i think my gran burned it a lot; i forgive her), but when we married into the corriher family, we became frank corriher consumers and boy i tell you, my eyes got opened to a brand new glory.  frank corriher livermush = delicioso.  heavier on the cornmeal, just the right amount of sage and pepper… if you cut it thick enough and cook it greaseless, it makes a right tasty entree.

final fun fact: apparently christian scientists think livermush is fascinating.  while i don’t return the fascination with any sort of interest in christian science, it’s cool that they think livermush is cool.  we can be friends.  well, not really.  the whole alien thing is irreconcilable with my theology.  sorry guys.

i am missing livermush like crazy right now.  and i just wanted you to know.

i am also missing this guy a little.

he left tonight for christmas with his family.  and he is no comparison to livermush, although i think i might like them both on a very similar plane.

and because tomorrow/today (in real-time) is officially one month of my being the girlfriend of that beautiful man pictured above, and also because we’re just ridiculously good-looking, here are a few more pictures (mostly, honestly, because our families have requested them):

yeah.  we’re cute.  we pray together a lot (as in daily, multiple times).  he leads me really well like a man should.  he reveals Jesus to me in a myriad of ways that always seem to make me cry (good tender tears; no worries!).  he opens doors for me and takes good care of me and honors me to a degree that blows my mind.  plus, he likes me, and he likes the things i make with my hands, especially when they are sugary.  he’s a keeper.  yes.

and on a very different subject, i need sleep.  so i’m going to do that now.

peace, all.  have a blessed and fruitful day!

p.s. to NC-people – if you want to ship me some livermush for christmas, i’m SO not going to stop you.

i just don’t give a rip if i have readership or not, to be honest, but on a more practical level, i’m hardly on the computer long enough to check my email, my bank account and debt stats, sometimes post a blog entry, and i’m done.  checking stats for a blog i barely keep track of in the first place doesn’t interest me much.

but tonight i clicked on the link out of curiosity. 

blog stats.  mostly a boring page full of facts that make you want to go “really?  people looked at that entry the most?”

until you get down to the search engine results.  apparently wordpress and google are in cahoots and every time someone comes to your blog from a google search, whatever they typed in that found you gets recorded and logged on your stat page.

christine calls this “search engine gold”.  i think that is fitting…

today, a person somewhere out in the universe found my journal by way of this very appropriate search:

“your face making me happy”

that search text made my face very happy.  i just wanted everyone to know.

that is all.

peace.

just not in kansas city, for some odd reason.  trust me, though, friends–barbecue fritos are delicious.  all other fritos are sub-par.

if all goes according to plan, i should be receiving some of these tasty morsels in the mail this year for christmas, also on the way: a far side calendar (fingers crossed!) and some really cheap and crappy christmas cookies that i also can’t get anywhere but back home (i tried to find a picture and failed… they’re that podunk, but awesome).

i love being alive.  just thought i’d say that.

i also love Jesus.

and snow. 

yesterday morning i was sitting in a driveway with my friend (my very good friend who holds my hand sometimes and bought me flowers on thanksgiving… yeah, that friend) and i looked out the window and saw little white things falling out of the sky.  it’s been a long time since i’ve seen snow start to fall out of nowhere…  it’s been a long time since i’ve seen snow.

it was beautiful.  to say the very least.

as it fell, i remembered julie meyer’s prophecy from last winter about snow:

“every time you see snow fall, think ‘purity, purity, purity…’ “

so i did.  and it sparked a really great conversation with my friend, who, like me, is violently pursuing purity.  it is really cool to see snow falling and instantly think upon the blood of Jesus and how it washes me/us white as snow.  what an awesome thing to think upon.  it is also really awesome to have the opportunity to run alongside someone who, though fully sober about his weakness, trusts in the grace and leadership of God to guide him into holiness.  it’s not about perfecting yourself and striving your way into the kingdom…

it’s about the blood.

that whole prophecy that julie gave was about grace and how the Lord was deeply committed to bringing his church into alignment with his heart for holiness; he was going to rain righteousness on our house and flood our riverbanks with grace, he was going to wash us white like snow, and he wasn’t going to relent until he had all of us.

for real, God is good.  he’s a good, good shepherd, and i’m thankful every day that he’s after my heart.

and that’s all i have to say about that.  for now.

peace, friends.  now that i’m all thinking about good things, i’m gonna go wait by the mailbox for my fritos…

today i realized that it was gone.  completely gone.  not even a ripple in my flesh where it was last.  and no beginnings of its next place-of-residence.

all that fun talk about being thankful for small healings is about to go into practice, folks:

thank you Jesus for healing me!  thank you for taking away my travelling wart!  it’s awesome!  my hands are now without blemish…. so stinking cool.  especially since someone gets to hold them now.  whenever he wants (within reason).

funsies.  muahaha.

yeah, i said it.

my blemish-free small hands can now frequently be found in the much larger and more structurally-fascinating hands of the man in pursuit of my heart.

bless the Lord.  it’s been a long time coming…

i am learning that to be thankful for all things in every circumstance is to really trust the Lord and submit to his leadership.  sounds strange maybe, but it really is true.  when i thank God for what he’s doing, what’s he’s given, who he is, i am really just saying “hey God, you’re pretty good at doing what you do and being who you are–i can put my trust in that.  i can give my life to you and know i’m going to be okay.”  it’s a heart posture.

1 chronicles 23 talks about the levites, which is basically the same role in the house of God that we are undertaking as intercessory missionaries at IHOP (we keep charge of the sanctuary and behold and bless the Lord).  verse 30 is to me in my life right now akin to a two-year-old youngster jabbing his finger into my arm with wild and uncontrollable laughter (it’s funny, but in that “you’re cute and small and yet slightly disturbing” kind of way).  it goes:

“they were also to stand every morning to thank and praise the Lord… to do the same in the evening…”

in the midst of all their duties in the house, the levites were to physically stop all their simple functioning and just stand there, thanking and praising God.  at least twice a day on purpose.  that’s stinking cool to think about.  not the twice-a-day part, but the actual stopping to stand before God and say “thanks, man.  you’re awesome.”

i’ve been doing this lately.  by lately, i mean on purpose for the past week.  and it’s radically changing my prayer life, as well as my life in general.

it has nothing to do with stirring yourself up in prayer.  nothing to do with what you ate earlier and how your stomach is angry at you for being a nimrod.  nothing to do with that thought you had about that person you saw and how much of a jerk you felt like when you realized Jesus knows your thoughts and that one wasn’t up-to-par.  nothing to do with where you are, where you were, or where you’re going (or not going), and nothing to do with your shortcomings, your successes, or your just-barely-good-enoughs.

it’s about him.

and nothing else.

and standing there before him (it’s actually even better when you really do stand), opening your mouth, and saying “thank you, God, for [insert something appropriate here].  i praise you because you’re [insert something likewise appropriate here].”

and when you’ve done it once, you do it again.  and again.  and again.  and before you know it, you’re full-on worshipping him for the God he is and the things he does.

and that’s what a lifestyle of prayer is all about.  it’s about him.  and loving him because he is the I AM.  it’s about discovering his beauty and standing in awe of him.  it’s about being captivated, fascinated, disarmed, intrigued, moved, stirred, stilled….

the intercession stuff comes when it comes.  that one has been hard for me to learn.  all i knew of prayer up until IHOP was intercession.  i thought that was what prayer was for.  i had no idea that prayer was just partnering with God’s heart, which fully includes getting caught up in the revelation of who this God is and why it matters that i talk to him about him.  my heart comes alive in worship.  my spirit gets jazzed when i praise him, thank him, tell him i love him.

it’s good stuff.  basic stuff, but good stuff.  i like to think upon the basic stuff as often as possible.  it keeps me from getting so dang “churchy” (also known as “proud” and/or “religious”).  paul called it “milk”–the easy things, the elementary things.  i like milk.  it tastes good.  it nourishes me.  it fills me up.  the israelites inherited a land flowing with milk and honey, you know… i say bring on the milk.  give me meat when i can handle it, but make sure i get a glassful of goodness in the meantime to keep me healthy.

i am thankful to God for a lot of things.  a few of those things are as follows:

1. life.
2. provision.
3. his leadership.
4. friends, family, and a community.
5. the house of prayer.
6. the word.
7. candy.  (seriously.  thank you.)
8. beauty all around me.
9. biofreeze and the heating pad on my back (hello, jerkwad back pain).
10. music and creative musicians.

ten is a good start.  now that i am thankful, i’m going to re-read that list in an attitude of praise.  and it’s going to do something in me.  you just wait and see.

yep.  i’m all kinds of happy right now.  that was fun.  i could go all night.

but i’m going to go to bed instead.  yeah.  sleep is also a good idea.  i thank you God for sleep.  i praise you because i can rest in you and because you’re with me when i lay down and when i rise.

funsies.  give it a try.  i’m out.